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Marcus Bentley lays Big Brother to rest

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© Channel 4

Housemates attended Big Brother's funeral this afternoon, as Big Brother narrator Marcus Bentley entered the garden to act as service priest.

Earlier today, the housemates had been notified that the funeral would be taking place in the garden. After hours of getting ready and writing eulogies, Big Brother called the group for the service to begin.

"Blessed are those that mourn Big Brother as they have enjoyed laughter, heartbreak and silly tasks and yet they have seen life," Bentley began. "Friends, housemates, viewers, Ofcom, the police and the government of the day - we are here to celebrate a great, great show.

"In its all-too-short ten years of life, he changed the face of TV and made superstars of ordinary people. He was loved by many, hated by few, but whatever anyone ever says about Big Brother, he was never dull… apart from Big Brother 4."

Bentley went on to describe how as a child Big Brother "scandalised the nation" after someone wrote down some notes, in his adolescence he showed us "his kebabs" and as a young adult he made headlines all around the world.

"260 housemates have sashayed through his doors and put themselves in full glare of scrutiny - an array of the foolish and the bonkers," the 'priest' continued. "No aspect of human behaviour was left unscrutinised by Big Brother."

Bentley asked all housemates to raise their right hands and repeat the declaration: "Oh Big Brother, you said it like it was. You were just being yourself, you were never edited badly, you weren't just doing it for the cameras. You gave some people some airtime, you mostly didn't swear live on Channel 4."

Marcus then 'committed to the earth' the welcome pack, a microphone, the red shiny task suits, a chalk board and chalk, and a beer can with a white label over it.

"We now commit to earth the unbranded beer who provided tears, tantrums, love and lust to all that drank from you," he added, performing the role.

Housemates then read eulogies, before Bentley, Preston, Victor and Nick lowered the casket into the ground.

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