Phobia Corner: Bees ('Dr Who', 'X-Files')

No wonder the bee population is dwindling in real life, given what sci-fi fans have witnessed over the years. Courtesy of Doctor Who and The X-Files, the airborne critters have struck fear into the hearts of many, who shudder and recoil at the merest hint of a buzz - even if it's the tiniest vibration of their mobile phone. It's too late for even a re-release of Billie Piper's polemic 'Honey To The Bee' song to restore their reputations.

Fresh in the minds of Whovians is the giant wasp that swarmed all over the guests at a 1920s country mansion, where The Doctor and Donna joined Agatha Christie and an array of stock characters with murky pasts. The sting in its tail was enough to pierce wooden doors and smash through windows, although it chose to dispatch the alliteratively sublime Professor Peach by means of lead piping in the library. How on Earth it managed to wield the weapon is anyone's guess.

It's worth pointing out that the creature was actually an alien called the Vespiform an that it had a fairly sympathetic demise in a lake. But in an age of genetic modification where fruits and vegetables can be sizeably enhanced, how long before massive bees are reared to ensure diners all over the globe have enough Honey Nut Cheerios to devour for their breakfast?

On the subject of GM, there was a right royal jelly melee on The X-Files in the mid-90s, as the ongoing government conspiracy mythology snorefest/story arc didn't exactly have viewers waxing lyrical over the bees. For they were tampered with by scientists in order to carry a lethal smallpox virus in their stingers and placed in a colony where they could pollinate various alien plants. Sadly, David Bellamy was not on hand to detail the shrubbery.

We've had a pooch hero in the shape of K-9 to help redress the anti-mutt sentiment brought about by killer dog films like Cujo, so isn't it time that benevolent bees were given some kind of prominence? Otherwise, we'll be saying 'buzz off' to the winged species for a lot longer...