Paris Hilton to play the 'Bride of Davros'

Paris Hilton has signed up for a leading role in one of the upcoming Doctor Who specials in 2009 entitled 'The Bride Of Davros'.

An insider on the hit show stated: "Paris is a major casting coup for the show and really raises the bar. We've been waiting to find the right role for her for some time, and she was our first choice to portray the shady temptress who will lure Dalek creator Davros down the aisle.

"The BBC really hope to boost the profile of Doctor Who in the United States and when we learnt that Paris is as fond of Daleks as she is of Chihuahuas then we knew we were on to a winner."

Hilton has previously appeared in the films Zoolander and The House Of Wax, but this will make her first dramatic role in TV.

Filming is scheduled to begin in March and the 60-minute special, in which David Tennant will play the Time Lord, is likely to be shown at Christmas.

Breaking news... we interrupt this news bulletin to report that the above story is absolute fabricated codswallop of the highest order. Yet it's not too far detached from some of the bizarre casting rumours that have surrounded the world of Doctor Who since the BBC revived it several years ago.

Casting the new Doctor and companion gave the press plenty of licence to throw a few bizarre names into the hat on slow news days. Sensing that the revived series would be the stuff of magic, the Sunday People carried a news story in early 2004 quoting one of those dubious 'insiders'. Apparently, the BBC was 'in talks' with Paul Daniels about swapping his magic wand for a sonic screwdriver. "Paul may seem an extraordinary source," stated the mole, "but he would make a very entertaining Time Lord". Presumably Debbie McGee was mulling over a companion role and Wizbit would be playing The Master.

Once that rumour passed, the Daily Mail went as far as running an article in its early editions on March 19, 2004 confirming that Bill Nighy had 100% been confirmed by the BBC as the new Doctor. On the very same day, all the other papers correctly named Christopher Eccleston as the latest incumbent of the Tardis. Ooops!

The return of classic Doctor Who villains has fuelled a few eye-raising stories. News that Davros would be returning (but sadly not giving Miss Hilton a seductive wink with his third eye) was greeted with a big scoop from The Sun - that legendary Gandhi actor Sir Ben Kingsley would be sitting in the hot seat. It might have been fabulous, but it wasn't to be and the brilliant Julian Bleach nabbed the part.

Had Joan Collins played Davros, the BBC could have saved a fortune on prosthetics and make-up bills and reduced the licence fee. But instead, the former Dynasty icon was linked to the role of The Doctor's Time Lady nemesis The Rani in the fourth season, a character previously portrayed by Kate O'Mara - who played Collins' sister on Dynasty, funnily enough.

In August 2007, the News Of The World stated: "The Doctor Who team are delighted they've managed to sign Joan. It's a real coup. [She's] perfect for the role... like Alexis Colby with a sonic screwdriver." Well, unless all the Whovians blinked simultaneously during the last season, which is unlikely as there might be a few Weeping Angels around, it seems that this was utter balderdash too. Perhaps we should start a 'Larry Hagman Must Be The Master' campaign and see if the tabloids report that as fact?

Matt Smith's shock unveiling as the Eleventh Doctor (unless you were tipped off and fled to the bookies) has heralded the odd rumour or two about who might play his companion in the upcoming Steven Moffat era of the show. One of those fabled insiders apparently bleated to The Sun that Lily Allen has been earmarked for the new role.

"After the chat show we hope she’ll take over from Catherine as Dr Who’s assistant," this source said. "We've talked to her and she was excited by the idea. It would be perfect for Lily and she would be perfect for the show."

While Allen has conjured up some decent music in her brief time, could the BBC really cast someone who would be such a poor role model for the hordes of impressionable young viewers? Her recent remarks on drugs, religion, and pretty much everything under the sun don't help her (presumably non-existent) cause. Mind you, the fact that she's been caught on camera throwing punches in public might function as good preparation for dispatching a few Sontarans by landing a blow on their probic vents.

Granted, it could be worse. It could be Amy Winehouse, although the prospect of her obliterating Daleks after absorbing the Tardis time vortex into her beehive is rather appetising. Besides, isn't she supposed to be playing The Doctor instead of this Smith chap? Last year, the media pounced on a jokey comment made by departing showrunner and deity Russell T. Davies about how the troubled star would make a brilliant Time Lord. Now that would be car crash viewing, but undoubtedly compelling.

However, on rare occasions there has been more than a grain of truth in a seemingly outlandish rumour. Many must have scoffed over their breakfasts when reading the News Of The World's report that Kylie Minogue would play a leading role in the 2007 Doctor Who special 'Voyage Of The Damned'.

Of course, she ended up portraying a more sympathetic character than the "sexy Cyberwoman" that the tabloid claimed she would be, but there were many reasons that pointed towards the possible credence of the story.

In particular, the presence of dancers in Cybermen costumes during her previous tour - instigated by her Whovian stylist and best friend William Baker. One should also note that her career took off through acting, playing the role of Charlene Mitchell in Neighbours (although she arguably lost out to Bouncer and Craig McLachlan's dungarees in the Ramsay Street acting stakes).

Time to go now. Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan are all being fitted with their bridesmaid outfits at this very moment, while Dalek Caan is rehearsing his Best Man's speech nearby ahead of the Davros-Hilton marriage. We'll be back with our insider scoop very shortly...

> Which star would you like to see in a Doctor Who role? Let us know