We would never want such a thing to befall you, our beloved Q&A readers, so once again we've interrogated the suits at your favourite TV channels until we got airdates and info on the likes of The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon a Time and much more...
When is Vampire Diaries back? It's my ultimate guilty pleasure!
If loving Damon, Stefan and Elena is something to feel guilty about, then send us down, your honour. It seems like forever since our last trip to Mystic Falls, when Klaus ruined everyone's Christmas by killing the 12 hybrids and Tyler's mother.
Well, happily, we won't have to wait long to experience the fallout from Diaries' bloody mid-season finale, as the show returns to ITV2 on Tuesday, February 19 at 9pm. The date was announced via a sleek and sexy picture on the channel's official Facebook likely to give tingles to any self-respecting TVD fan. See it here!
When will we see season two of Once Upon a Time on Channel 5?
From one fantasy drama to another. The season one finale of Once Upon a Time was a bit of a game-changer, with all of the fairytale folks in Storybrooke remembering their former lives in the Enchanted Forest and turning on the Evil Queen... just as magic appeared to have made its way into the real world.
With a cliffhanger like that, no wonder you're chomping at the bit to experience the second season of Once Upon A Time. Rejoice then, because we can reveal that the show will return to Channel 5 in just a couple of months' time with a few new additions from your favourite kiddy stories, such as Captain Hook, Sleeping Beauty, Mulan and Sir Lancelot.
What about Parks and Recreation? I saw the pilot recently and it is real funny stuff!!
Yeah, what about Parks and Rec? Presumably you're after the date of its UK debut on BBC Four? Auntie have been strangely tightlipped about the super-smart Amy Poehler comedy so far, only confirming the acquisition in November despite leaking the news themselves three whole months earlier.
Thank goodness then for good-old industry sources. Because of them we've got a tentative date of March for Leslie Knope and the rest of the Pawnee parks and recreation department to make their entrance. We can't wait for you all to see it and come to the realisation like Jbarbour that, yes, it really is double exclamation mark funny.
When will season five of Castle be back on here?
We're recycling this query from a few weeks ago because we have newsy news news. When this question was first poised, we genuinely feared a bit for Castle's future on UK TV, since Alibi "couldn't give any confirmation of the show's future" and Channel 5 - who are only on season two anyway - revealed they wouldn't be showing any new episodes until 2014.
But we're happy to report that not only have Alibi now confirmed that they hold the rights to Castle's fifth and sixth seasons, they've already set an airdate as well - the Nathan Fillion/Stana Katic detective series will return on Wednesday, March 20.
Any idea on when Sky Atlantic will be giving us the second season of Smash?
Yes, and we're going to sing it from the rooftops! Season two of Smash, the musical drama about the drama behind a musical, will premiere on Sky Atlantic in July.
In addition to new showrunner Josh Safrin (Gossip Girl), the likes of Liza Minnelli, Jennifer Hudson and Hairspray's Nikki Blonsky will be joining returning cast members Debra Messing, Anjelica Houston, Jack Davenport, Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty as their Marilyn Monroe musical totters towards Broadway.
If you're the impatient sort and wanna find out right this gosh darn minute what's going down on Bombshell, head on over to Digital Spy's fancy recaps of episodes one and two of Smash, where we ask 'Is there still enough to hate-watch?'
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