Sarah Corvus says hello

Sorry it's late but the coach made me lose the will to live
As is customary I start this edition with an apology for Tube Talk's tardiness. This time the culprit is T4 on the Beach and an agonising seven-hour coach journey back from Weston-super-Mare. Still, it was worth it just to see Sarah from Girls Aloud flash the press. (Click here for lots of video bits from the day).

This week marks the start of the first season of Heroes on BBC Two - Wednesday, 9pm, folks! - but for the majority of you reading this column, season one is old news. Well I've got news for you, this week's spoiler spot (in the absence of anything else) is a Heroes season two special. Page three is the place to be for all the latest snippets on what's to come. In yet another pathetic attempt to outshine me, soaps supremo Kris Green has served up a much better a so-so version for Desperate Housewives. Click here to find out if Edie lives, what happens to Bree, blah blah blah...

First thoughts on Bionic Woman and Gossip Girl
I've started working my way through the pile of preview tapes showcasing next season's new US series and it's time for some first thoughts on two of the shows we had high hopes for.

First up, Gossip Girl, from OC creator Josh Schwartz. If you're hoping for something to fill the void left by Seth and Ryan then - and it pains me to say it - you'll be sorely disappointed. Wooden characters, even more wooden dialogue (yes, it still fails to fill the Ryan-shaped hole) and a completely uninteresting plot.

Next up, Bionic Woman, which already has a lot of buzz surrounding it. While the preview is an excellent tease, the full thing actually falls short by some margin. The storylining is obvious - there are no Lost or Prison Break-style twists - and a lot of it has the "so what?" factor to it. The good news is that Michelle Ryan is superb in it, American accent and all, and that NBC is planning some major improvements before it actually goes live. So there could be hope yet.

More in-depth reviews coming soon!

FX got game!
Did you see the news about FX getting its wallet out? The channel will now be the new home for the (reportedly) final season of Nip/Tuck, which is good news for non-digitallers, as they are more likely to surrender the terrestrial rights than Sky. They also have season one of 24, the full Buffy library and more Family Guy.

And on a related note for all those who have asked, the Alec Baldwin comedy 30 Rock has at last found a UK home on Five.

A quick mention for...
If you love stand-up comedy and you love reality TV, you're in luck. Last Comic Standing, a US series that melds the concepts beautifully (think American Idol for stand-ups and you're there), has now traversed the Atlantic. Catch it Monday nights at 9pm on TMF.

Bonus Clickables
> Watch this space for the revolutionary new TV Centre!
> Tube Talk MySpace
> Premiere List page - now actually updated!
> RSS Feed - add Tube Talk to your desktop, browser or website
> Upfronts scorecard - who got what at the LA screenings
> Interview with Jekyll star Gina Bellman

When is Kyle XY back? Has anyone picked up The Sarah Connor Chronicles? What the hell is Portia de Rossi up to? All those questions and more answered over on the next page!

Lee: "Have e4 got a confirmed date for when they are going to air series 6 of Smallville? Thanks for your help!"

Neil: In case you missed the newsflash in the last edition, be aware that the new season finally airs from this Sunday (22nd) at 9pm. Hurrah? Hurrah!!

Alan Robertson: "Enjoyed the Sarah Jane Adventures on BBC1 at the New Year - any word on when the series will kick off properly?"

Neil: The series finally arrives on CBBC in the autumn. Like Torchwood series two, which started filming last week, Sarah Jane is delayed somewhat. But this works out quite well; Whovians can enjoy ten weeks of Sarah Jane, swiftly followed by ten weeks of Captain Jack and co., all leading into a fourth series of the big one next March. More info on SJ will be coming at the CBBC press launch next month!

Mick: "Neil, I was just wondering how Dirt's premiere episode ratings were on Five US? Any good?"

Neil: Around 600,000 viewers tuned in for the debut, making it the channel's most-watched show to date. About time Five US had some success with a US TV series (its mainstay to this point being films).

Luke: "What a mess ITV made of Tycoon. I'm fed up of different channels copying each other in this discreet but yet obvious way. I would admit I did watch the show but now it's been relegated to a half hour Monday night slot. Was I really the only one watching? What were the rating figures?"

Neil: Discreet? What exactly was discreet about it? The sad thing about this show is that there was a glimmer of promise in the reworked format of episode 2, focusing on the businesses themselves rather than the attention-craving ego of Peter Jones. Ratings steadily fell from its disappointing 2 million debut last month, even in its new 30-minute format on Monday nights. So much so, in fact, that the live final now airs this Monday, three weeks earlier than planned.

Tom Roddison: "While our non-digitised friends are only starting to enjoy the wonders of Heroes on BBC2, I'm wondering when the second series will be out over here, and in the US? I'm guessing it won't be TOO long until the lucky Americans are watching our Heroes' second outing?"

Neil: A date has finally been set for season two on NBC in the US: Monday, September 24. Just two months more to wait! Depending on how it fares on BBC Two - who wants to guess the premiere ratings? 3.5 million, maybe? - the second season will probably follow on soon after the first, so from next January.

Paul R: "Hi Neil. I know Studio 60 has not been renewed for a 2nd season on NBC, but I was wondering whether there is any chance of another network picking it up, seeing as it received critical acclaim in the US. I've just been introduced to the show and can't believe I'll only have 1 season to enjoy! Keep up the good work!"

Neil: Not going to happen, so make the most of the first season, which airs on More4 from this Thursday (26th) at 10pm.

Daryl: "I know it's not even premiered Stateside yet but it is potentially huge. Has there been any interest in The Sarah Connor Chronicles from a UK broadcaster yet? A terrestrial showing would be preferred."

Neil: It's been snapped up by Virgin 1, the new general entertainment channel launching in September. It will be on Freeview, which is about as terrestrial as you're going to get for now. Be aware also that it isn't due to TX on Fox in the US until January, so it will be then at the earliest that you'll get to see it here.

This week in the swag spot, it's one of the most f***ing controversial shows on television!

Those generous c***s at Paramount Home Entertainment have given us five f***-off DVD sets of Deadwood's third - and final - season... and you good-for-nothing t***s could be in with a chance of winning one!

Ahem. To enter for free, click here, fill in your details and answer the very easy question that follows. If you're selected as a winner, you'll receive an email from Kris Green asking you some very personal questions indeed.

[Incidentally, the DVD set is released on Monday, August 6, a date you should also mark in your diaries for being my birthday. Cards, cash and crisps all welcome.]

Scott L: "Do you know when Five will be showing the new series of Law & Order: SVU?"

Neil: Season five premieres next Saturday, July 28!

Charlie: "Hi Neil, could you please tell me if we are going to see the amazing Portia de Rossi in anything soon? She was amazing in Arrested Development and would love to know if she's up to. Any projects coming soon?"

Neil: The gorgeous Portia has just been cast on the fifth season of Nip/Tuck, airing in the US from October, playing an acupuncturist working alongside Julian McMahon and Dylan Walsh. Also on the guest list for the supposedly final season are Bradley Cooper (perhaps better known to you and me as Will Tippin from Alias) and Rosie O'Donnell, who returns as Dawn Budge for a several episode stint.

Lee Harris: "Afternoon, great Tube Talk once more. Can you advise when the second series of Kyle XY will be shown and will it still be on Trouble?"

Neil: It's back in September, and not a moment too soon. In next season's opener we'll learn a great deal about the origins of Kyle - and we'll meet a new character, Jessi. You could say she's a female Kyle XY. It may also please you to know that the second season has been extended from the usual thirteen episodes to a more substantial 23.

Alan Robertson: "Didn't Commander-in-Chief premiere on abc1 before being shown on other channels (I think five but can't remember for certain)? I certainly recalled seeing it there first."

Neil: Two years in (that's right folks, Tube Talk turned a terrible two last month), I fear that my sarcasm may be becoming less obvious I've lost my mojo! There was a period when abc1 attempted to play with the big boys and get itself some original acquisitions rather than relying on Disney Channel library content. It soon reverted back to the latter after its (albeit conservative) foray into the world of primetime entertainment fell flat. If it ain't broke, why fix it? (But please remove spare us from Less Than Perfect)

John: "What's with Holiday Showdown: Extreme and its scheduling? The first two episodes were two weeks apart and now I can't find it on the TV listings any more. What are ITV playing at?"

Neil: Disastrous ratings. The best thing to do would be to shift this show to ITV2, where it would do superbly, in a relative sense. Isn't it convenient that ITV has "decided" to suspend RDF shows for now?

Richard Hooker: "Do you know any reason why the BBC are not showing season 2 or even season 1 of Rome on BBC HD even though they co-produced it and therefore I would think they got the rights? Any ideas? There's a thread on the DS forums but it has been static from the BBC."

Neil: A question I've been asked for some time, and I finally have my hands on sort of an answer. Get this: the BBC don't have the rights to show Rome in HD even though, as you say, they were a (not insignificant) co-producer with HBO and Italy's RAI. Discussions are ongoing with HBO, however: a BBC spokesperson tells me that the corp "hopes to have both of the series in HD format available on the BBC at some time in the future".

Robert Turner: "As always, I am a fan of the column whenever it comes out - and maybe you've brought this to us before but I missed it - but can you confirm that S2 of A Town Called Eureka will be on Sky this summer?"

Neil: It's currently on course to land at the end of September. Repeats of the first season are currently playing on Friday nights.

Matt: "Hi Neil, big fan of Tube Talk. I was just wondering if you could do a bit, like you do for spoilers, about the LA Upfronts and list who's got what? I'm really confused as to who's bought what and it would be nice if it was simplified a bit."

Neil: Your wish is granted. Clicky here to be enlightened.

If you don't want to hear about Heroes season two, head away now. Perhaps go and read this interview with two new Mitchell sisters (yes, I don't know where they came from either). On the other hand, if you want the scoop on what's to come for the gang, head over to the next page!

As always, select the area to the right of each programme to read the text - but be warned that you may well be spoiled.

Heroes season two: As I revealed on the last page, it's a wait of two months for the new season of Heroes (if you follow at US pace, that is). The tension is clearly building and in anticipation, those mouthy cast members are starting to spill the beans on what we can expect. Here's a roundup of the latest snippets:

Ali Larter, whose character Niki finally melded with alter-ego Jessica at the end of season one, said she had "heard a little bit" about what's to come for her character. "It's a little La Femme Nikita... I'm happy about most things they give me on the show."

Jack Coleman, aka Noah Bennet, said revealed that in the Claire-centric first episode - set several months after the finale - HRG has reunited with his adopted daughter, wife and son. "The Bennet family has relocated," he told Sci Fi Wire. "I can't tell you exactly where. And it's a new world. The secrets they keep from each other are new secrets. The old secrets have all been divulged. We're not retreading the old ground. But there's old ghosts. Old habits are about to rear their ugly head in a very dramatic way. The Bennets are together to start, but in a very difficult, awkward circumstance that they all have to try to deal with. And it gets pretty sticky pretty quickly."

The final few moments of season one were actually the first few minutes of season two. Hiro is back in time in 16th-century Japan (where he'll be for at least eight episodes before returning to the present day, Heroes-wise). There he'll meet a childhood hero, Takezo Kensei (played by David Anders, last seen as Alias baddie Sark), who isn't all he's cracked to be. "The storybooks have exaggerated," says Hiro actor Masi Oka, and "Kensei isn't the kind of man Hiro idolised."

As we've heard, there will be plenty of new heroes this season - and the latest addition is Dana Davis (The Nine - soon to air on Five US). She'll play Monica, a hot young hero who would "give up everything to help the people around her".

Mysterious, no?

Heroes (season one!) airs Wednesdays at 9pm on BBC Two


Send your requests for shows to be featured in the Spoiler Spot to the usual place.

That's all for this time. Look for the next edition of tube Talk on or around Friday, August 3!


Additional input from Kris Green