Cult Spy: The Cult Stars Who Never Were…

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride? Just spare a thought for the poor buggers who never made it to the wedding in the first place. Here’s a rundown of a few famous faces who threatened to take the cult television world by storm, but never quite made it…

Paul Daniels

If everything we read in the tabloids were true then not only would the human race be nearing extinction following a nuclear fallout after one of Jordan’s tits exploded, but Paul Daniels would be taking on Daleks and Cybermen. Swapping magic wand for sonic screwdriver? At least Debbie McGee might have benefited from it, if not the viewers…

In early 2004 the Sunday People carried a news story quoting one of those dubious ‘insiders’ stating that the BBC were ’in talks’ with the magician about playing the Timelord. “Paul may seem an extraordinary source,” stated the mole, “but he would make a very entertaining Time Lord”. Presumably that’s entertainment that would take ‘car crash’ viewing to a new level. Thankfully the rumour was debunked later that year when Bill Nighy was cast in the role. Oh hang on, that was the Daily Mail who reported that one as fact.

Rachel Stevens

The path from S Club Seven to TV heaven is not an easy one. The ground north of the equator is still reverberating from Jo O’ Meara’s post Celebrity Big Brother shaking. But her former bandmate Rachel Stevens - a lads mag staple - tried to make the leap from pop singer to time traveller in 2004 when auditions for the revived series of Doctor Who were taking place. (Did she receive a tip off that the BBC were trying to cast a fading pop flop in the role of Rose?)

As we all know now, Billie Piper won the coveted role ahead of Stevens and proved to be a great success. To date, there’s no definite evidence that Stevens also went for the role in Primeval that was ultimately snapped up by fellow S Club totty Hannah Spearritt. Perhaps she read the scripts?

Nigel Havers

Think quintessentially charming Englishman and Nigel Havers shouldn’t be far from your mind. But few know that he was almost Star Trekking across the universe not so long ago. The harmless gent - a kind of Primark version of David Niven - lit up both big and small screen in the 1980s with films like Chariots of Fire and Empire of the Sun. Amiable sitcom Don’t Wait Up and ITV wartime drama A Perfect Hero followed. Then came the Hollywood call...

Presumably impressed by the previous casting of British actor Patrick Stewart to helm the enterprise, the producers of upcoming spin-off Star Trek: Voyager narrowed down the shortlist for the role of Captain Kathryn Janeway to just a handful of names, including Havers and respected actress Genevieve Bujold. But before you start thinking that playing a woman was beyond the caddish man’s powers, the role was apparently of undetermined gender at the time of the casting process. Either that or Havers could have gone all ‘Method’ and have the snip in a move that would make Stanislavski proud.

Anyway, after much debate by the producers they cast Bujold, who subsequently quit the show only days into filming and was hastily replaced by Kate Mulgrew. This surely wouldn’t have happened if they’d cast our very own Nigel. Once you’ve gone Havers, you’re never going back…

Christopher Bowen

Who? Exactly. But if fate had dealt a kinder hand then there would be another Bowen in popular culture to rival Bullseye legend Jim. For in 1992 the cameras started rolling on a Universal-funded 30 minute pilot for a television series of Darkman - a spin off from the popular Sam Raimi film. Christopher Bowen - a relative unknown both then and now - was cast in the title role played on the big screen by Liam Neeson. Bowen must have been creaming his pants at this point.

Alas, the cream quickly soured. The project simply didn’t impress the right people in the industry and the pilot was never aired on television and died a quick death. To this day, Bowen’s best known part was in his only other dabbling with the cult tv world. In 1989 he played space-travelling knight Mordred in the Doctor Who story ‘Battlefield’. Relegated now to bit parts, one of his recent roles was in ITV’s Rosemary & Thyme. Poor guy. It could have all been so different…