We start with Kate, who's decided that after the whole Niko fiasco, she doesn't really feel like being a spy anymore. Unfortunately, Richard has other ideas - he wants her to take on one more mission. A dealer in London has grabbed a list of CIA assets, so she has to swap it with another (fake) list.
Kate's not keen, but Richard's threatening to jeopardise her job at Pan Am, so she doesn't have much of a choice. Turns out it's easier to get into the spy game than out of it. Who knew?
Elsewhere, Maggie and Laura are running around the apartment desperately getting ready for their trip to London when Maggie's annoying bohemian friend Sam shows up. He wants to get to London on Pan Am so he can visit a nuclear arms fair - he's not buying, or anything; he's protesting with Ban The Bomb. Maggie is understandably worried about letting him on the plane but Sam begs her - she owes him - and she caves.
Dean and Colette have called in sick - more of that later - so there's a new captain. Turns out it's a guy called Dennis, who's an older, sexist bore. What's more, a congressman (Chris Rawlings) is on the flight - perfect fodder for Sam.
Ted's a big fan of Congressman Rawlings, so when Sam begins yelling at him in the aisle, Ted bustles in to intervene. And he's not impressed to hear that Maggie knows Sam, either. For her part, Maggie is furious with Sam's behaviour and forces him to sit down quietly, begging him to fit in for once.
But Sam reminds her that she supposedly has principles - where have they got to, exactly? Maggie ignores him for now and takes Chris a drink, apologising and slipping in that she knows about the world atomics symposium. "You'd be surprised about the things I've heard of," she says, fluttering her eyelashes. "I bet there are a few surprises under that cute blue hat," Chris leers. Hmm.
Meanwhile, Laura's a bit fed up with rude Dennis, and when he pats her bum she is not happy (though Ted doesn't exactly do anything apart from shrug his shoulders, comedy-style.) So when he orders coffee and then stares at her breasts, is it any wonder she "accidentally" spills coffee on him? (I do think this is a genuine accident, but let's call it a Freudian slip.) Dennis is furious and threatens to report her, but Ted takes him to one side and the whole mess goes away. But what did he say?
Anyway, the plane's landed in London but lets head back to America to spend a bit of time with Colette and Dean. After that kiss, Dean shows up at Colette's house - he's going to teach her to fly! So they call in sick to work and head to the country.
Unfortunately, Colette hadn't realised that the deal also includes meeting Dean's parents (turns out that the plane they're going to fly is owned by his dad). She thinks it's a bit soon - all they've done is kiss! - but Dean insists it's no big deal and takes her for lunch with his mum and dad. Unfortunately, it is just as awkward as you would expect - Colette is initially mistaken for Bridget, and then at lunch Dean's father demands to know what exactly happened to Dean's former fiancée.
Eventually, Colette rushes out of the room (I think it could be something to do with Dean's dad asking if she's pregnant, but whatever). She ends up in a barn, and Dean comes to find her, all apologetic. This scene basically just gave me even more reason to love Karine Vanasse - Colette is furious with Dean and is demanding to be taken home.
But, of course, they soon make up - Dean says he never cared about Bridget as much as Colette... he never even brought her to meet his parents. Soon they're kissing and getting acquainted in the hay. Amazing. Afterwards, Dean says Colette was right about saving that girl in Haiti, and says she saved him too. CHEESE. It works though, because they're doing that naked kissing again.
So that's Dean and Colette done - now let us return to London. Ted wants payback for helping Laura out with Dennis - his childhood "friend" Amanda (Ashley Greene, Twilight fans!) is in London, and his parents want them to date. Unfortunately, Ted pined after Amanda when they were kids, and she always ignored him. Well, it's payback time - Ted wants Laura to pretend to be his girlfriend and storm in on their dinner all angry and stuff.
Ted's very impressed when he sees what Laura's wearing for the evening, but he has to go and meet Amanda. Of course, he ends up flirting with her something rotten. As Laura waits for her dramatic entrance, she's accosted by Dennis, who reveals that Ted said he was dating Laura. In fact, he said all sorts of nice things about her - Laura's a lucky girl. Laura is chuffed as anything, but when she looks over, Ted and Amanda have disappeared. Oops!
As for Kate, she delivers the fake list of CIA assets to Roger, but it turns out there's been a hitch. And it's not just that Roger has suddenly started speaking in an accent NEVER BEFORE HEARD BY MAN (seriously, as a Brit? This was not a Liverpudlian accent. It was kind of a Cockney accent from London, but not. It was just a mishmash of bizarre, basically.) No, it turns out that the list was going to be delivered to the Soviets three days from now - but now it's tonight. Roger needs a decoy - enter Kate.
Kate refuses at first, but when Roger reveals that Bridget and Niko's names are on the list she doesn't have much choice (she's so resigned - it's great.) Of course, the understanding is there that her name is on the list, too, but it's never said. Anyway, the guy with the real list is a jeweller - time to start the mission.
They go to the jewellery shop as a couple, pretending that Kate is getting bought a fancy diamond bracelet. Of course, it needs to be resized but she's flying out tomorrow - can the jeweller Mr Bulger come to the hotel to resize it that evening? He reluctantly agrees, and when he arrives at the hotel Roger slips out to the jeweller's to break into Bulger's safe and swap the lists. But can Kate distract Bulger for long enough? Seems like he's in a bit of a rush...
Meanwhile, Maggie finds Sam in the hotel bar - all of his Ban The Bomb buddies have been banged up in prison. He's in a grumpy mood, and tells Maggie that she's supposed to be seeing the world to change it - instead, she's taking lunch orders. Think of all the important people she could talk to if she chose to!
I kind of resent Maggie listening to Sam since he's such an irritant, but he does have a point about her hypocrisy. Maggie apparently agrees, because she knocks back a drink and goes over to confront Congressman Rawlings about his attitudes towards nuclear testing. What's more, he agrees to listen to her as he walks to his room... although eventually they end up inside it. Yes, of course, they end up having sex. Maggie, I'm disappointed in you.
Still, I'm not disappointed with Maggie for that long, because post-coitus she finds Rawlings' speech and is not happy with it. It's "practically fascism"! She runs into the bathroom with it and sets fire to the speech, tossing it in the trash can. Oh, Maggie, I love you again! Unfortunately, it kind of sets the curtains alight and the fire alarm goes off...
The fire alarm causes all kinds of problems - Chris chases after Maggie, saying she's "reckless, pig-headed, crazy" but surprisingly this doesn't flatter her and she gives him a look of pure disgust (brilliant). And as the hotel is evacuated, Laura finds Ted and apologises for not interrupting his dinner... only to discover he's been with Amanda. Laura, you love him after all!
More importantly, Bulger decides that he'll have to take the bracelet back to his shop. Kate desperately tries to stop him - Roger's still there! - but she can't. Instead, she follows him to the shop, sneaks in, and spots Bulger and Roger having a tussle. Kelli Garner does a fabulous shocked face, and then a gun flies out of someone's hand and lands by her foot. She picks it up, and as Bulger gets out something to stab Roger, she points... and shoots. What an ending! I have a feeling Kate might find it even more difficult to leave spy world now...
- Sam might be unbelievably annoying, but it's nice he made a return - better than some conjured-out-of-thin-air friend of Maggie's.
- I like the fact that Laura and Kate have made up, but Laura is still living with Maggie. Seems real.
- "What's more important than saving the world?" Cheese.
- Maggie's face when Laura innocently said that both Dean and Colette were sick was amazing.
- Who says we don't get sexism in Pan Am? Dennis was disgusting - and it's not like Ted defended Laura, either.
- Mind you, I enjoyed Tom's suppressed laughter after the coffee spillage.
- If you're going to take a girl home, you can't really get more charming and winning than Colette. Dean's dad, take note. She's way better than Bridget.
- I've already said it, but Karine Vanasse - amazing. Her anger in the barn scene was great.
- "What did you think of the flight?" "The take-off was good but the landing was better." OUCH.
- Also, saxophone as Colette and Dean have sex? Pure corn, but amazing.
- "This place is crawling with lobby lizards." My new favourite phrase.
- ROGER'S ACCENT. Oh my GOD, Roger's accent. There are honestly no words. Bizarre.
- Did Laura say: "Oh cookies!" in distress? Is this a real thing?
- For a spy, Kate is a rotten actress. That display in the jeweller's was awful.
- I love Pan Am for it's cheesiness and it's just as well, because there was loads this week. But I don't think anything can come close to using terms from the nuclear debate as foreplay. "Relaxation of tensions"? "Mutual disarmament?" Christina Ricci, you can purr as much as you like - no way that's going to be sexy.