Cult Spy Icons: Brad Bellick from 'Prison Break'

Taking Schadenfreude to a new level, we simply love Prison Break’s Brad Bellick here at Cult Spy because he’s one of life’s great losers – always destined to fail in hilarious circumstances.

With his stocky figure and animalistic bulldog face, Bellick was initially seen as the power-abusing Captain at Fox River State Penitentiary, home to Michael Schofield and Lincoln Burrows. He wallowed in the power he was given over inmates and was prone to some serious corruption.

But there’s a reason Bellick’s time on the show was extended into the outside world once the action moved away from the prison – his hapless suffering is a joy to behold! Just witness how he’s set up by T-Bag at the end of the second season for the murder of a hooker, followed by a couple of bullets to the leg and then off to the slammer.

The bewildered looks on his face when he’s stitched up are always great fun, in a similar vein to cartoon villains like Dick Dastardly coming undone in their fiendish plans. Top of the heap is perhaps his ill-fated hook-up with former prison guard Geary. Not only had Geary’s lies previously cost Bellick his job, but when the pair settled their differences and found T-Bag’s cash, he promptly beat up Bellick. The bad luck didn’t end there, for Geary’s death is then blamed on him because of an angry voicemail he left!

Nonetheless, Bellick managed to generate a strong degree of pathos when we discovered that his private life was governed by misery. Despite being middle-aged, he still resides with his mother and was on the verge of suicide when he opted to pursue the fugitives for the reward money.

There lies the key to what makes him tick – any easy substitute for the love and affection he’s been deprived of. Material wealth is certainly at the top of the list, hence his relentless pursuit of various rewards and cash funds throughout the second season.

A total, unashamed asswipe of the highest order, Brad Bellick will hopefully continue to suffer unfortunate and embarrassing fates during the upcoming third season of Prison Break.