'Jersey Shore' recap: 'Should We Just Break Up?'

Warning: This article contains language and/or sexual references that younger readers are advised to avoid.

This week's action kicks off at the club as JWoww and Sammi continue to resolve their issues following Miami. However, the drama-free life on the Jersey Shore doesn't last for long as Sammi becomes "nervous" about the amount Ronnie has been drinking. "One step forward and two steps back," he says. He insists that he's drunk far more on other nights out and she shouldn't worry.

Everybody heads back home where Sammi starts to make food for Ron, although he wanders upstairs and crashes on her bed. She follows him but he's not interested in eating, so the pair just lie together. Ron, however, suddenly needs to throw up and Sam just manages to get out of the way as he vomits into a shopping bag nearby. "I don't do throw up!" says Sammi. "I get really sick and start throwing up if I smell throw up."

The next morning JWoww finds Snooki asleep in her dog pound, while Ronnie's feeling the affects of the previous night - and another, even more worrying problem. Turns out he's bleeding when he uses the bathroom. "I don't know if it's from the alcohol," he tells a worried Sammi, who offers to drive him to the doctor. At the clinic, the doctor says that he needs to "check out" the area but promises that he "won't do anything crazy like scopes or anything graphic". Ronnie looks rather uncomfortable as the doctor snaps on his rubber gloves and examines him. "Doc, you can at least buy me dinner," he later jokes. "I don't move that fast on the first date!" The doctor concludes that Ron needs to drink less. Sammi can't help giggling when she hears the details of the exam, although admits she feels bad about it.

Meanwhile, the other girls are en route to the pharmacy and Deena is venting her frustration to JWoww and Snooki about girls who refuse to admit they masturbate. "I think it's healthy," she reasons. Snooki agrees. "You work your muscles," she adds. "Remember I did it all day once and couldn't move?" At the store, Snooki's thrilled to find a tricycle which she wheels around on while shopping, but the trio are forced to make a hasty exit when she takes a corner too fast, snaps the handlebars and lands on the floor.

Later that night, it's party time and Deena and Snooki admit having a crush on Pauly. "I've told him I'm taking his sperm and making babies out of it," says Snooki. The group head to Karma to meet some of Ronnie's friends, including a guy called Dario who is immediately snapped up by Deena. Snooki's also found a new man called Jeff and practically runs home to ensure they get the Smush Room. Unfortunately for her, she gets an unwelcome reminder it's "that time of the month" which puts an end to any chance of romance. Deena, meanwhile, is adamant that her man won't be getting any action either. "It's not Halloween," she explains. "I'm not handing out candy for free. You need a golden ticket to get into these drawers." Or not. "Whatever," she says the next morning. "My golden ticket was taken. It is what it is."

Snooki's excited about spending a whole day with Jeff, but while it starts off fun (a trip to the boardwalk, a twirl on the stripper pole and the discovery that he has a tongue ring), it ends on a low note when Jeff reveals that he once gave a girl a promise ring. Snooki's worried he wants more commitment than she's willing to give right now and decides to end things. Jeff, however, keeps calling the house to find out what has happened, so Pauly D answers and pretends to be an answer machine and then a pizza place.

The girls escape the house to go shopping at a bondage store, where JWoww steals the attention in a leather hotpants and bra combination. "I have a boner," says a baseball uniform-wearing Snooki, while Deena decides against trying the same outfit. Back at the house, an argument erupts between Sammi and Ronnie over whether or not someone has cleaned the fridge, which causes an awkward atmosphere in the house for the rest of the day. "You wish you could just press the freeze button and fast forward until they are done fighting and then they're fine," says Mike.

The tension between Sammi and Ronnie continues upstairs. She wants to know what she's done wrong; he wants to be left alone. "Why don't we just break up?" she says eventually. "That's your answer to everything!" replies Ronnie. Downstairs the other housemates can hear every word. "Hell has to be just like this," comments Vinny. Eventually the boys and Deena head out to the club where Pauly bumps into his "stalker". He immediately asks why she threw a drink at him before and she says that it's because he made her look like a stalker. They hug, agree a truce and Pauly invites her back to the house, much to the amusement of the other housemates. He dons his 'I Heart Jewish Girls' shirt that she gifted him, while the housemates playfully try to initiate the word 'stalk' into their conversation. She eventually leaves.

Upstairs, Sammi wants Ron to join her in bed but he doesn't want to talk. "Straight up, I don't want to do this anymore," she says. Another argument ensues. "What did I do?! It's not fair to me!" she shouts. "Me, me, me, me, me..." replies Ronnie. "We're done. I'm done." Sammi wants him to look her in the face and say they're finished, which he does, but she's still unhappy. She wants a proper talk for "closure" but he's not interested and heads to the patio. Sammi follows and a bleep-filled conversation takes place about what they've done for and against each other. "This is the breaking point to our relationship and if that's the case then I'm fine with it," says Sammi. "It is what it is..." responds Ronnie.

Jersey Shore airs Thursdays on MTV

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