Jack Bauer vs. Candyman

In the fantastic latest season of 24, Jack Bauer has just come up against a great new nemesis – General Juma. The chap who plays him is Tony Todd, who is best known for playing the fearsome Candyman in a series of movies. But who would win if these two iconic figures came up against each other? There's only one way to find out. FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

Jack Bauer's certainly diverse with his combat techniques, being ultra-skilled with and without a weapon at his disposal. He can locate his enemies using state of the art satellite surveillance and shoot them down or render them unconscious with a swift headlock manoeuvre. He's not shy of using extreme torture methods to break his opponents either, which has led to him being endlessly scrutinised by government official in the current season.

By contrast, Candyman is a bit hampered by the fact that he can only be summoned when some poor soul says his name five times in front of a mirror. Given that Bauer has taken on the might of the Chinese government before we doubt he'd chicken out from doing that. Candyman likes to suddenly appear behind the back of his victims and slaughter them with the hook on his hand, although Bauer is the type of guy who sleeps with his eyes open so the element of surprise might be annulled.

It's a classic case of the modern versus the old school in terms of weaponry, as Jack Bauer's hi tech gadgets form a stark contrast to Candyman's somewhat organic killing methods. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but can a hook defeat Bauer's sharpshooting skills? Well, given that Candyman is already dead a few bullets probably wouldn't return him to his maker. Don't knock Bauer's own miraculous powers of resurrection, having faked his own death at the end of the fourth season courtesy of an injection.

Both men have some sturdy back up to call upon. Bauer can always have Tony Almeida or Bill Buchanan lurking in the wings, strategically placed and ready to strike. Yet can they really compete with the swarm of killer bees that Candyman can summon from his very own mouth? If you think such a scenario is wildly implausible, just remember the cougar attack faced by Jack's daughter Kim during the second season.

So far, it's a stalemate. Bauer won't be taken from behind (ooh er!) and Candyman will hardly crack under torture given that bees inhabit his carcass. But there are two unique elements of the CTU legend that give him the edge against his immortal foe.

Firstly, he's skilled in cutting off hands, as witnessed by his amputation of colleague Chase Edmunds' hand at the end of Day Three. Given his ingenuity in life or death situations, there's every chance that Bauer can perform the same feat on Candyman's hook. Secondly, the sheer vocal presence of Bauer is enough to overwhelm anything or anyone.

He starts off in that kind hushed tone: "Where are the bees, Candyman. Tell me where the bees are and I can ensure you get out of this alive". After he is politely informed by Candyman in his trademark rasping whisper that he is already unalive, Bauer deploys his most effective weapon of them all – the hairdryer treatment. "WHERE ARE THE BEES CANDYMAN?! WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN BEES DAMN IT!! TELL ME WHERE THE GODDAMN BEES ARE!"

His eardrums unable to resist, Candyman has no choice but to buzz off into the night and back behind the mirror. It's unlikely that General Juma will behave in such a manner, but let's hope the confrontation is just as nailbiting – and implausible – in true 24 style.